and now where do I go?

And where do I go from here?
From this moment of not knowing.
I thought I knew it all, I thought I finally had it all figured out.
You and I together forever.
You holding me, I holding you.

And I thought we had it all, All it took to be happy.
We were so happy, we were the happiest I've ever seen.

I finally had made up my mind.
I would be the children's psychologist and stay here, with you.
Where I would finally be able to make sense of this non sense of the world.
I knew that with you by my side all my questions would find an answer and I would never feel alone.

And now, you're nowhere to be found.
Nowhere near and all I hear is a deafening silence.

So, here I am with a void in my heart with tears in my eyes and a knowing that this is our end.
You are done and have forever walked away without once looking back and I...
And I don't know where to go.

A maze

It's amazing how you can just keep in mind your side of something and not have any consideration for the other. It's even more astounding how so perfectly well you know the power behind your words and what they do and you do it all so deliberately. Down to your deafening silence to your cut throat words.
Yea, you know I'm a cry baby or a chillona as you would say and to you I'm seeking out your attention like a stupid teenager despite the fact that were both grown adults that can talk and say how they really feel. But with you I feel like it's all the contrary.
Cause if you're really saying how you feel well... salgo sobrando though we both know that ain't the case. If that were so you wouldn't be so upset as you are. And yea, you say you don't care and oh God do you walk the walk. Yet we both know you're just as upset if not more than I am yet you're gonna play it off cool cause that's what you do.
But please just please keep in mind that you're standing on that boat on your own and in order for us to have a smooth sail we need to be on the same boat reaming together otherwise we ain't getting no where and you're really doing is winning at a losers game.

tanto y tan poco

Se tanto y se tan poco...
Te amo de tal modo que se me olvido hasta cuanto
Hasta cuanto mas podre con lo que cargo y aun mas cuando?
Cuando fue que se te hiso tan facil romper tantas promesas y con ellas mi corazon.
Como fue que deje que pasara? Porque diablos no tuve mas cuidado?

Aun no se ni entiendo en que momento me perdi
Perdi la compostura
Perdi la razon
Peor aun perdi a ganar
Creo lo unico que sali ganando fue un gran temor.

Temor a la incertidumbre al mas no saber y aun peor perdi lo que nunca tuve.
Fue una ilusion una tonta ilusion de nina torpe que aun no comprende lo que es tener.
Nunca lo tuve mucho menos lo tendre.
Y tendre que conformarme a un sueno una torpe ilusion.
Ilusa fue lo que yo fui

Puesto como llege a pensar que no me fueras a dejar si siempre lo fue tan facil para ti.
Porque fue tanto que te amaba y tan poco que me quise.

Lost and Found

I lost my heart and found you
I lost my sanity and found insanty
I lost you and found myself back again
singing, dancing, loving and realizing I'll be okay

I lost that battle but instead found myself victorious as I let that war go
I escaped with scrapes but I managed to bandage it all back together
I lost joy and found sorrow.... sorrow in the unhappiness; so I decided to go back to being happy.

I've always wanted to be happy- thats what I've always strived for yet
I've never been unhappy
I've never wanted to be alone, in fact I'm afraid of being lonely
Yet, never have I been lonely maybe in bad company but that comes and goes and inevitably somehow
as long as I still have myself my strength is my within.

I thought I would always have you,
You were and are my person, you understood and misunderstood me
Knew me so well yet had no idea and were so oblivious that you just sent me off..
I told you to promise me to never let go and so you did.
Now, I don't know what to do. I find plenty to keep my mind busy and my body going but I can't silence that deafening silence you beat me with.

I want to yell, scream and cry and throw my hands up in my air but I my lungs are exasperated.
I feel like I can't breath and my balance is so so off and never have I shook so much and felt so miserably cold despite the hundred degree weather.
All I have left now are an unbearable amount of questions that won't be answered, a pair of lungs yearning to share your same air and arms that feel oh so weak and what's even worst is you're nowhere around.

You promised.
You promised you wouldn't break a promise, that we would be forever.
Did forever ever exist? Did I ever exist in that forever or has that forever now became extinct?

Su reputacion...

Su reputacion la lleva en las primeras seis letras
La carga como si fuera algo de estar orgullosa
Se siente la reina, aunque ni llega a princesa

Y la vez por ahi...con una sonrisa que trataria de convenserte de su plenitud
Aunque no se tiene que ser un genio para ver el vacio que lleva por dentro.

No es falsa pues presume de ser todo lo contrario,
tan solo ve su cabellera y largas pesunas que lleva.
Y ya no es tanto el dano que causa si no el de que algunos nunca se llegaron a recuperar.

Y la vez ahi por ahi por las calles, con su cerveza a la mano y una risa aun mas falsa
Pero nadie sabe que tan solo busca nada mas que eso
Llenar un hueco, un vacio que no ha podido llenar con nada y lo trata de saciar aunque aumente mas su pena y crece mas larga su lista.