Not knowing

It came up today in a conversation and for the first time in a very long time, I gave myself the answer to the question I have been asking for awhile now.... How do you know when someone cares or just stops caring? Granted, I can't read minds though I sometimes wish I could. God,  I wish I could, it would make my life so much easier, no more playing the guessing game, no more wondering, doubting and far less questioning. I've been questioning and wondering for so long now that I haven't even known what to do anymore and all that would come to mind was that one saying that "when you don't know what to do, the best thing to do is nothing at all" problem with that is that I'm a doer. I can't ever not do anything, I can't ever sit still, not think or overthink each and everything I do. Don't even let me get started on the hours I have spend analyzing and overanalyzing each word spoken and unspoken that has came out of your mouth cause that would just be never ending. Not doing anything has been killing me and doing I'm afraid will turn out to be my demise so here I am tied up, wound up; mad, hurt, confused and far more lost. I keep asking for a sign any thing yet nothing has came my way. I wish I could run, run far far away and never look back though as soon as I get in my car only place I want to go to is where I'm afraid I'm no longer welcomed so I remain. I smile while deep inside I'm dying but I'll never let that show, I'm strong than what you know and weaker than what I'm willing to admit but I know I'll pull through, it's not as if I have any other option. When faced with the question how do you know someone cares I said " When someone stops caring for you, you'll know because that's the moment they'll stop doing anything for you, talking to you, looking for you and it'll be pretty clear" I don't know if I just haven't wanted to see it or just still had my hopes up but maybe its time I open up my eyes and see the reality of it.